With a Beat of My Heart Read online

  Table of Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  With a Beat of

  My Heart.

  Loving Lily Series.

  Book two.

  By

  S.J. Batsford

  First Published – 10/04/2017

  This edition published – by Batsford Publishing

  Cover design by Kennedy Kelly with Cover Crush Designs

  ISBN: 978-0-9954944-3-5

  Copyright © by S.J. Batsford

  License Statement.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise) without prior permission of the publisher.

  Thank you for respecting the work of this author.

  Please keep this book in its original state with exception of quotes used in reviews.

  This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locations is purely coincidental. The characters are products of the Author’s imagination and used fictionally.

  With A Beat of My Heart (Loving Lily series #2) is a New Adult Romance, intended for mature viewers of 18+. Strong language and sexual situations throughout.

  Dedication.

  This book is dedicated to my mother in law, who we sadly lost last year. She was always there when we needed her and we are truly lost without her.

  She taught me a lot throughout the years that I was lucky enough to know her.

  Live life to its fullest because you don't know how long you have with them, cherish every moment with your loved ones.

  ~S.J.
  Acknowledgements.

  First of all, I would like to thank all my family, friends and fans. 2016 wasn’t an easy year and though I lost some people this year I also gained some amazing friends who I not only class as close friends but family. So, thank you to you all for keeping me going when I really didn’t want to, Ethan would never have had his side told if it weren’t for you.

  To my husband, the love of my life and best friend without you I would never have known what true love was. Without out you I would never have had the guts to write at all. I love you, Mr, Batsford.

  Next my street team, the CrAzY Batsford’s… Wow, what to say. You ladies are amazing. Not only do you go above and beyond to make sure people know my name and any and all updates on my work, but you make me laugh on a daily basis. I love you my CrAzIeS.
  A special mention goes out to Tanya Acevedo, when I was going nuts trying to think of the perfect name for Ethan’s book she helped me though and in doing so helped me come up with the title for this book.

  Thank you, Tanya.
  Next a massive thank you to my beta readers Tanya Aceveco, Jenny Wootton, Janet Harrall, Laura Martinez, Mil Va Chin, Karen Raines, and Kimberly O’Connell… Without you ladies I would be lost. Thank you for all your encouraging and constructive advice.

  Thank you to my friend Julian Napier for all your help and guidance, I truly love you like one of my ladies, Lujulian.

  A massive thank you to my PA Ana, without you I would be truly fecked. I would also have gone crazy at some points throughout writing this book if it weren’t for you calming me down.

  Thank you to all the blogs who shared and got word out about this book. You guys are Rockstars.

  And last but not least, a big thank you to Kennedy Kelly for this gorgeous cover and for putting my vision into the cover.

  Table of contents.

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-one

  Chapter Twenty-two

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Chapter Twenty-four

  Chapter Twenty-five

  Chapter Twenty-six

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  Chapter One

  Watching her walk down the aisle is bittersweet. She looks beautiful, amazing, mouth-watering. I made the biggest mistake of my life when I chose Ashley. I kick myself repeatedly for choosing the conniving little witch. Hating her won’t change anything, but I do. She stole my future.

  Hearing Lily declare her love to another man is excruciating. I feel like there’s a vice around my chest and it’s tightening, restricting my breath. My heart shreds as the Pastor pronounces them man and wife. My chance gone, the worst part is, now I have to live with seeing them happily married and in love. Ironic huh?

  I disappear into the shadows as they come back down the aisle together happy, smiling, their life just beginning as mine falls apart.

  ~*~

  I haven’t got a fucking clue what I’m doing with my arms around her waist. The hint of coconut teasing me hardens my dick, he twitches as memories assault me. The way she looked as she rode me… Her scent. We had sex twice and I’ve never had better. To say she was a virgin, her responsiveness… I’ve relived it hundreds of times. Her slick skin warm under my hands, her body trembling, tightening…

  Her angry voice pulls me out of my daydream, but I have no idea what she’s saying because I’m still trying to get the erotic images out of my head.

  “I need to talk to you, I wanted to beforehand but your dad was there… That was quite a show you both put on.” Her face contorts at my snide remark.

  “What would we have to talk about on my wedding day? The only thing we have to talk about is the twins. And that wasn’t a show, we were dancing,” she yells.

  “You may as well have been fucking on the dance floor! That’s what it looked like.” I have no control over my mouth right now. I’m angry and lashing out at the one person I want more than anything. If I’m honest the dance was beautiful and sensual, but it wasn’t with me. This day should have been ours like we’d planned.

  “Who the hell do you think you are? That was Spanish dancing and it’s meant to be sensual and loving. My husband is part Spanish you knob! It’s part of his heritage.” She screams in my face making my ears ring.

  “I…” I cringe as the door opens revealing her very pissed off husband.

  “What’s going on? I could hear you over the music! Everyone could.”

  My body tightens ready to fight as he lays his hands on her.

  “You okay?” He asks her as I look on.

  “What the hell is going on? And what are you doing in the bathroom with my wife?”
He grates through gritted teeth turning on me, his eye shooting daggers.

  “We’re talking that’s all!”

  “No. You came in here... I thought it was you by the way.” The way she looks at him makes me sick.

  “And wrapped your arms around me as I was wetting my face, then made our first dance sound sordid!”

  “What the fuck? She’s my Wife! You don’t get to touch her. You weren’t even invited. And I couldn’t give a shit about your opinion on our dancing!”

  The anger in the room is palpable, Jackson and I stare at each-other neither of us willing to back down.

  “I think you need to leave, and if you ever touch my Wife again. I’ll knock your teeth down your throat!” I almost laugh, but decide to leave instead of causing a scene and upsetting the twins.

  ~*~

  I smile happily, bouncing my not so little twins, making them giggle.

  “Dad, could you take the twins to get some cake please?” Lily’s angry voice interrupts us. The twins stop giggling immediately as they look at their mom. Hesitantly Alex takes the twins from me and walks away. Jackson and Mason follow behind us as I’m dragged by my arm into the hall.

  “What the hell was that back there? Haven’t you caused enough trouble? Have I not made myself clear? There is no more us! There never will be. I’ve just married the love of my life. I’m blissfully happy with him. You’re the twins’ dad and that’s it! I’m sick of going over this. You’re married, I’m married. You may be miserable, but that’s not my problem. It’s yours! I will not leave Jackson, I love him.” She yells, rightfully livid at my earlier actions.

  “I know, it was stupid, selfish and I’m sorry. It won’t happen again, I’ll back off. You’re right, it’s my own fault I’m miserable, and I’m happy that you’ve found, happiness. I’m just going to go tell the twins I’ll see them soon.” I leave heartbroken.

  ~*~

  Two weeks later.

  Either this chair is moving or I’m drunk. How many have I had? Obviously enough to impair my vision because I’m seeing two of the old man who’s talking away next to me. I have no idea who he is but he now knows my whole sob story.

  “You need to get away, go on vacation and sort your head out! Have some fun, meet some beautiful women. You’re too young to be tied down anyway.” He slaps me on my back knocking me off my stool.

  Shit!

  I laugh pulling myself up and wave down Drew the bartender/owner. He shakes his head indicating he’s cut me off.

  “Thass not a bad idea… The vacation, not the women. I don’t need any more complications.”

  “I didn’t tell you to marry anyone, just have fun… Let off some steam.”

  It makes sense, but my head feels heavy and I know it’s time to go home.

  “Thanks, fer the talking… Enjoy your night.” I slur, stumbling across the bar, bumping into people along the way.

  Outside, I lean against the wall feeling all the whiskey I drank hit me at once.

  Shit, my head…

  My phone buzzes as I flag down a cab, I nearly drop it as I hold it close to my face unsuccessfully trying to make out the words on the screen.

  “You getting in or not?” The cab driver yells at me.

  I nod falling off the curb. I sigh closing my eye as he pulls off the movement of the car relaxes me. I need some sleep I’m seeing the twins tomorrow afternoon. I wince thinking how unpleasant it will be to sit with the newlyweds.

  I wake, my heart banging against my chest as the cabby swears and swerves the car viciously to the left, the car spins. All I hear is the cab driver swearing and the screeching of tyres, I turn to see a truck coming towards me in slow motion. My mind goes straight to my babies, if I die would they know I loved them? I can’t die yet I haven’t seen them grow… I haven’t seen the twins in two weeks, held them and told them I love them!

  I remain mute as the truck hits us, a sickening crunch and grinding of metal meets my ears. The car doesn’t hold up at all to the force it’s been hit with and the car flips dragging a scream from my throat. I’m thrown around like a doll, my head hits the roof and door. I feel blood start to flow down my face as everything fades.

  ~*~

  Chapter Two

  “Mr, Barker? Can you hear me?”

  A bright fucking light burns into my right eye, blinding me. I try to move, to evade the burning as my eye starts to water.

  “Don’t try to move Mr, Barker. Do you remember anything?”

  The guy is up close and personal, breathing bad coffee breath in my face making me gag.

  “What?” My voice is barely audible, rough and my mouth is dry. I have I.V’s in my arms and wires everywhere.

  “Do you remember anything?” He asks scribbling on a clipboard. He’s wearing a white lab coat, a shirt and tie.

  I struggle against the fog clouding my brain. I remember going out and talking to Drew, then an old gentleman sat beside me and we were chatting… I shake my head focusing.

  “Not really, I was at a bar having a drink, talking. Drew cut me off, so I caught a cab and I must have fallen asleep…”

  “Okay, well do you remember anything about the cab?”

  I squint trying to force my brain to concentrate as the doctor stands watching me carefully. Finally, after a few minutes and a headache threatening, I shake my head no.

  “Well, you were in a rather serious car accident. The truck driver had a seizure at the wheel and was unconscious on impact. You are very lucky to have survived.”

  “Are the others okay?” I ask, feeling shaken.

  “I can’t tell you about other patients, but sadly the cab driver didn’t make it,” he pauses hearing my heart monitor start beating wildly. I try to sit up, I feel the need to move, to be anywhere but here, but I can’t, both my legs are in casts as well as my left arm.

  How did I not notice that before?

  “Lie still Mr, Barker, don’t try to move, both of your legs were severely broken as well as your arm. You still have a severe concussion and we’re waiting on the results from your MRI scan.”

  MRI? How long have I been unconscious?

  “Wait, what day is it?” I ask panicking.

  The twins.

  “It’s Wednesday, you’ve been unconscious for four days.”

  I blink, shock curbing my questions.

  Fuck four days. Do my family know? Do they care? I wouldn’t blame them if they didn’t with the way I’ve been acting lately.

  “H- has my family called?”

  “We called your wife, she was here earlier. I presume she informed your family.”

  I huff knowing she wouldn’t have told anyone where I was.

  “Where’s my phone? I need to make a call,” I snap.

  “There’s a phone right here,” he says, placing a phone on my lap. “This remote is for pain relief, press this if you need to,” he says before leaving.

  There is only one voice I want to hear.

  “Hello?” She answers breathlessly, I hear the twins playing in the background.

  My body perks up hearing her breathy voice.

  “Hi Lily, it’s…”

  “Ethan? Hang on.” She must have moved away because the twins’ laughter dies off.

  “Where the hell have you been?” She asks angrily, confirming my suspicions that Ashley really hadn’t told anyone what had happened.

  “I…”

  “Your family are going out of their minds worrying about you. You were supposed to come see the twins days ago, you promised.”

  “Listen, I know I promised and I would have been there if it were a possibility, but…”

  “I don’t want your excuses. They’ve been crying asking where their daddy is.” She yells through the phone. Frustration overwhelms me and I snap.

  “It’s not a fucking excuse Lily! I would have been there to see my kids if it were a possibility but it wasn’t, and unfortunately it still isn’t. Now are you going to listen or are you going to bitch a
t me?” I demand, my voice cold.

  “Okay, let’s hear it, what was so important that you couldn’t spare an hour to come see your own children?”

  The sarcasm dripping from her every word pisses me off. I know I was an asshole when she was pregnant but since then I’ve always been there for my kids.

  “Well, let’s see. The night before you flew home I left Drew’s, got in a cab to go home and drifted off thinking about seeing my kids the next day. Apparently, I was in a car accident, a big fucking truck hit my cab, and now I’m stuck in Mercy for god knows how long.” I pause hearing her gasp, I know that was a shitty way to tell her, but fuck she pissed me off insinuating that I’m a shitty dad.

  “Are you okay?” The wobble in her voice soothes my temper slightly, I groan shifting my arm a little.

  “Honestly, I don’t know yet. I’m waiting on test results to see the extent of the damage. Listen, could you call my Mom and let her know? They called Ashley and obviously, she didn’t think it was important enough to inform my family.”

  “No one knows yet? Wait. Did you say the day before we flew back?” I groan in answer as sharp pains slice through me. “You’ve been in hospital four days and only now do you call to let us know?” She yells making me wince, the throb in my head now pounding.

  “Yes, I’ve been in hospital four days, but I’ve been unconscious up until now.” I growl trying to keep the noise level to a minimum.

  “Oh, my god. Jackson!” She yells and I remove the phone from my ear groaning again.

  “We’ll be there as soon as we possibly can.”

  “No, Lil…” The line goes dead.

  Great, just what I need, the newlyweds.

  I groan as another pain takes my breath, I fumble for the remote pressing firmly on the little red button, sighing in relief as it hits my system, my eyes droop and I embrace oblivion.

  ~*~

  I wake with my heart banging against my chest as the cabby swears and swerves the car viciously to the left and the car spins. All I hear is the cab driver swearing and the screeching of tyres, I turn to see a truck coming towards me in slow motion…